August 06, 2006
Had this nagging feeling asking me to come home early. And what do I get? From the moment I stepped in home my dad has been talking and talking and talking away.
There's this stranger who talked to me in the MRT, weird guy but we stroke up a conversation pretty well. Talking about my course because I was hilighting away the notes in the MRT. Then he opened his bag and showed me this paper in the file of him graduating from some Singapore Commercial School or something. "See I never bluff you." Eyes went down to the Graduated in 1975 part. Was taken aback. Then he said before you were born right? I think he was going for a job interview.
Urrrrrgh. Daddddddddddddy. I don't know what you want. Why don't you just tell me straight to the point.
I came home "earlier" than usual so I could continue studying so I can return my notes but here you are talking away.
I only know you want me to study the market of idiots. Eg those who pay hundreds for tattoos, thousands for that arowana. Whatever else.
What the hell. I just want to break down and cry. I really don't know what everyone wants from me. This that. When I do it my way, objections here and there ; EVERYWHERE.
One moment you're all there supporting me, say you want to help me solve my problems, or always be there for me and for that very moment, I fall for it ; deep. I believed every single word. Next you all disappear and leave me alone, then now when I think I want to do this and that you all come back with other alternatives. I'm so confused. I'm so tired. Of everything. Of life. Of living. Of crying. Of everything.
Gets so hard to breathe I wish I could just lay here and die.
Maybe it's just me.
Cuz they say, promises are meant to be broken.
Just let me be please. I'm already bogged down by enough problems.
BREAK DOWN.
-nIx- @ [[11:12 PM]]
Had this nagging feeling asking me to come home early. And what do I get? From the moment I stepped in home my dad has been talking and talking and talking away.
There's this stranger who talked to me in the MRT, weird guy but we stroke up a conversation pretty well. Talking about my course because I was hilighting away the notes in the MRT. Then he opened his bag and showed me this paper in the file of him graduating from some Singapore Commercial School or something. "See I never bluff you." Eyes went down to the Graduated in 1975 part. Was taken aback. Then he said before you were born right? I think he was going for a job interview.
Urrrrrgh. Daddddddddddddy. I don't know what you want. Why don't you just tell me straight to the point.
I came home "earlier" than usual so I could continue studying so I can return my notes but here you are talking away.
I only know you want me to study the market of idiots. Eg those who pay hundreds for tattoos, thousands for that arowana. Whatever else.
What the hell. I just want to break down and cry. I really don't know what everyone wants from me. This that. When I do it my way, objections here and there ; EVERYWHERE.
One moment you're all there supporting me, say you want to help me solve my problems, or always be there for me and for that very moment, I fall for it ; deep. I believed every single word. Next you all disappear and leave me alone, then now when I think I want to do this and that you all come back with other alternatives. I'm so confused. I'm so tired. Of everything. Of life. Of living. Of crying. Of everything.
Gets so hard to breathe I wish I could just lay here and die.
Maybe it's just me.
Cuz they say, promises are meant to be broken.
Just let me be please. I'm already bogged down by enough problems.
BREAK DOWN.
-nIx- @ [[11:12 PM]]
